Where is he Now?
story and photos by David Hapgood
Donn Hosford, event winner and a new track record at Madras Dragway, May 2000.
In 2005 I wrote a profile on Top Alcohol Funny Car owner/driver, Donn Hosford. See link below:
https://www.draglist.com/artman2/publish/daily_stories/Donn_Hosford_Funny_Car_Anti-Hero_1405.shtml
In the years that followed I continued to stop by Donn’s shop from time to time, until 2017 when he sold his TAFC operation, his house and his racing shop, and moved from Portland to a distant suburb of Seattle.
Donn’s Camaro TAFC in his Portland shop, circa 2010. His final car was a 1977 Firebird nostalgia FC.
I was a little sad when Donn left town, not just because I enjoyed visiting him but also for what his move symbolized: a small part of a larger trend. You see, his shop was more or less in the inner city, and during my formative years in the sport that was the norm. Think of the Chi- Town Hustler and Karamesines in south Chicago or any of the dozens upon dozens of 1970s fuel and alky teams based out of hole-in-the-wall light industrial warehouses in Los Angeles. Pretty much any city of any size was home to at least one fuel or alky racing team. But that standard had been eroding for several decades by the time Donn quit Portland, leaving the city with zero fast drag racing teams.
I kept in touch with Donn semi-regularly over the next decade, checking in via telephone. Recently I was told that he’d bought a very fancy street car that he wanted me to see. I contacted him and he suggested that I write a ‘Where is he Now’ article.
This raised an interesting question: how would I impose an article about a supercar on Draglist, a site devoted to drag racing? I had no idea — not yet, anyway.
The day arrived when Donn drove his fancy machine down to Portland. We met at a park. I still hadn’t even seen a photo of this machine, but it was easily spotted from two blocks away, as its pearl orange paint glowed in the sun — a dead giveaway. So were the car’s insane proportions. Immediately I started laughing. It was as audacious as any vehicle I’ve ever seen, and my friend owned it. It wasn’t exactly a car. It definitely wasn’t not a car. Plainly stated, it transcended the standard definition of a car. It also begged the question: how could such an exquisite contraption exist in real life? It seemed like the stuff of dreams.
The machine was pearl orange, a color that couldn’t have been less appropriate for a street car or more vibrant in the midafternoon sun. I couldn’t stop looking, my eyes couldn’t quite make sense of it. As I got closer I could plainly see that what separated this Lamborghini from any other I’d seen was that the brilliant orange paint made the car’s exquisite body lines literally pop out.
Lamborghini Gallardo.
I should confess that the genre of supercars in general doesn’t impress me. I do enjoy watching them crash on YouTube every once in a while when drivers show off and run into telephone poles, parked cars, or trees. Sure, Ferraris and Lotuses merit a passing glance, but as a matter of preference, I simply don’t care. But Lamborghinis always transcended that bias to a certain extent: they were always… different, in a futuristic way. And their engines had a unique sound. However, of the half dozen or so Lamborghinis I have seen in my lifetime, all of them were dark-colored, including one that I encountered in upstate New York, with Mike Tyson behind the wheel — he waved. By comparison, Donn’s car glowed.
Donn propped open the engine bay before I had a chance to ask. The lid was made of glass, like a display case window. The engine? I’m a photographer, not a mechanic, what the hell do I know about engines? This car’s plumbing was complex and there were five spark plugs on each side. But After spending a couple minutes trying to make sense of the engine’s intricate intake and exhaust (and neglecting to snap any pictures!) I moved on to the car’s form, something I would ordinarily be able to assess in a few seconds. Not this car. I could not wrap my head around it.
I looked it over, took some photos, asked some questions, stuck my head inside a rear wheel well trying to figure out where the side vent led. I was left with the impression that no matter how long I looked at this machine I was never going to be able to sum it up. The closest I could come to describing the experience was that the car had a huge presence. I had to pry myself away from it.
Our get together was arranged by a mutual friend, former AA/FA owner/driver, Don Lane. Twenty one years ago I did a profile on Don and his altered, here’s a link to the article:
https://www.draglist.com/artman2/publish/daily_stories/AA_FA_The_View_from_the_Bunker_870.shtml
I hadn’t seen either ex-racer in fifteen years and it had been twenty years since the last time the three of us had hung out together. After I was done photographing the Lamborghini the focus then turned to reconnecting as friends, and for a minute or two our gathering got off to a slightly awkward start (I’ll admit it: I’ve always been a fraud around racers) but it slowly evened out as we bench raced for nearly two hours.
Don Lane (left) and Donn Hosford.
Among the topics were lost drag strips. I was jealous to learn that both guys had been to Ontario Motor Speedway. Of all the tracks on NHRA’s 1970s national event calendar, OMS was one of two that I had missed. “There were 42 top fuel cars at the last World Finals at Ontario.” Hosford said before twisting the knife by revealing that, “I was also at the last race at Fremont.”
We went on to talk about the short lived Balboa Park Drag Strip outside of Eugene, Oregon, which once held a Bill Doner-promoted event featuring sixteen of the best funny cars of the early 70s. Our conversation was lively and very much like old times. For a while we could forget that we were older now.
“I’m going to get going before rush hour starts,” Donn said and we headed towards his car. Being the expert interviewer that I am not (!) I saved the hard question for last. I had to ask about his TAFC days. “Do you miss it?”
“Yes, I do. First through second gear especially.”
“The launch, then.”
“Yup. The car pulled one-point-one G’s at the shift point.”
I then had to ask what he thought about being back in his old hometown.
“It’s depressing”
I asked why.
“The streets are in terrible shape. Too many potholes.”
I realized that it must have made him uncomfortable to take such a pristine car into the city, where it didn’t belong. It kind of didn’t belong on any street: it would be more at home on a race track. Or at a car show.
Donn took off in his orange machine, Fuel Altered Don got in his GMC truck and said goodbye while I climbed into my Kia and headed back to my new home in Hood River.
After I had written a first draft of this story, I was looking for feedback so I ran it past occasional Draglist contributor, Peter Kumble. He suggested I probe a little deeper. Specifically he said this:
“I would add perhaps 30% more about what he is doing now, why he got out of TAFC, does he go to the strip anymore, what does he think about the current dismal state of TAFC, his impressions on the injected nitro racing, why he got the Lambo, where does he drive it the way that it is engineered to be driven, can he work on it.”
Some of these were questions that I had avoided asking because I didn’t want to put a damper on our reunion. I knew Donn wasn’t thrilled about leaving the sport. And the current state of TAFC? That story could be a book. Plus, I was juggling dual roles that day: part journalist and part friend: I didn’t want the conversation to turn depressing. But Peter has never met Donn so it was easier to pose the questions of an anonymous observer. Here’s Donn’s reply:
“I got out of racing for several reasons. #1) all my crew were related, all Caldwells. Dave the computer guy was Tommy’s dad. Bob the crew chief was Dave’s bro. Tommy died, Bob lost interest, and Dave wasn’t wild about racing. #2) I got tired of the mafia (NHRA) making me buy new or recertify my equipment so they could get kickbacks. I believe they signed their own death warrant.
“I still go to the strip a couple times a year. TAFC currently is just an expensive hobby. injected nitro I have not seen lately.
“I bought my Lambos ‘cause they are art work, exciting, exotic and not common. However there is no sensation there to match a 6,000 rpm clutch sidestep. I get on the lambos occasionally.
“I miss the thrashing at the track and the folks involved.”
He had mentioned to me earlier that he does all the maintenance on his Lamborghini.
I hope to see my old racing buddies again someday soon. In addition to his small fleet of Dodge Prowlers, Donn has added a 2nd Lamborghini to his collection, and is shopping for an even fancier one. I cannot imagine…
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